Sunday, 29 March 2009

Pre Marriage Counseling Prior To A Marriage Ceremony

Pre marriage counseling with Christian counselors is usually mandated by the Church prior to a marriage ceremony. There are secular alternatives with licensed counselors that couples may choose as well.

These classes can range from one hour to forty hours and cover topics about how to handle conflict, how to make decisions together, how to communicate and strategies for increasing marital satisfaction. Though many people view relationships as being intensely personal, the advantages of preventative care and maintenance are overwhelming.

Money is the main reason why couples should seek pre marriage counseling. It's important that both partners are on the same path, since the top reason for young divorce is financial problems.

Mental health counselors say that the real argument here is over control. One person may accuse the other of slowly seeping all the money out of the joint account through frivolous spending patterns. There are also clashes between those who have saved adequately for their retirements and those who are praying for miracles.

Often, one person will assume control of the finances but fail to budget appropriately, which creates an emergency situation when an unexpected expense pops up. It can be difficult to give up part of your financial independence and begin functioning as a unit, yet among other things, marriage counselors can help ease the transition.

Many pre marriage counseling sessions are more like educational courses, rather than therapy. The counselors are there to teach you ways to comfort your crabby partner after he or she has had "the worst day ever." They'll show you how to communicate your needs and wants without nagging, complaining or accusing.

They'll teach you how to overcome marriage-killer behavioral patterns like stone-walling, criticizing, defensiveness and contemptuousness. Before you say "I Do," you can learn your personal conflict styles and recognize the relationship's strengths and possible weaknesses, which will create better understanding in the long run.

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