Mastering Skills To Build Relationships

"Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well," explains Dean Ornish, M.D., author of Love & Survival. "When you look at the scientific data, the need for love and intimacy is as important and basic as eating, breathing and sleeping."

He argues that our need to build relationships that are long-lasting and fulfilling is essential to our cardiovascular health, our recovery from illness and our very longevity. There are many key components of successful intimate relationships.

The ability to resolve conflict is something that partners will likely work on their whole lives as they build relationships that can withstand the test of time. When conflicts inevitably arise, it's important to remain in the present and let go of what has happened in the past.

Choose your battles wisely and avoid nitpicking over every little thing. Be open to forgiveness, which will ultimately lead to happiness. Sometimes you must be mature enough to "agree to disagree" when a resolution can't be found. Using positive nonverbal communication and humor can help diffuse most tense situations and maintain healthy relationships.

Once you've mastered the skills needed to build relationships and maintain them, you'll wonder why you ever had trouble in the first place. It may seem artificial at first to keep saying things like, "My, you look wonderful today" or "So, tell me about your struggles and triumphs of the day," but you'll find that opening the lines of communication will strengthen your intimacy and your bonds.

You may feel guilty taking off work on Saturdays to plan a date with your spouse, but quality time is the best way to make old, stale relationships feel like new relationships again.

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